Non-Linear
One of the weirdest things I’ve learned in life- well, that I am still learning in life- is that our lives are way messier than I was told they’d be. I’ve heard for many years that life “isn’t linear”, and I didn’t have anywhere to put that when I was 22. But when my plan for my life didn’t happen the way I was told it would, I was googling what in the hell linear means.
What linear means: events happen in a progression, each stage building upon the last. I thought each stage of my life unfolded to the next, closing each chapter neatly behind me as I evolved. I would explore my career options in my early twenties and decide on a direction. Once that decision was made I would grow in and master that endeavor. Then I would be able to meet someone and share with them the life I’ve decided to live and they’d be so impressed, they’d marry me. Then kids. That’s about as far as I thought, but it was a good chunk to get through in a decade.
Literally none of that happened.
So, this Non-Linear approach was kind of Plan B. At this point, I’m sure my story sounds like so many of yours, even if the details aren’t the same. We all make dreams and plans for our lives and give it our best go. Well, for me Plan B has felt like going from being domesticated to being released back into the wild. I suddenly found myself in the company of other wild creatures that lived their life like it was a daily wonder. They didn’t have the career, spouse, kids and whatnot- and they were still loving their lives! They were people who lived a bit upside down because that’s what worked for them. People who decided to approach life with open hands and open hearts, unlike me who was strangling it for not giving me what I wanted.
Looking at my group of friends, in a fond way it reminds me of the island of misfit toys. We’re all a bit wonky, we didn’t fit into societal expectations (I’m not sure they’d agree with that but they’re currently not here to speak on their behalf). But we’re all so intricately unique. Even without the degrees or impressive milestones, we’re showing up each day trying to explore the fullness of what our lives actually are, instead of sulking in what it’s not.
That's Non-Linear to me. We each are so preciously unique, that having that Linear plan for life doesn’t work, simply because one size doesn’t fit all. Life doesn’t progress from one stage to the next, at least mine didn’t and I’m so glad for it. Life is a wonder every day, and it doesn’t owe you anything. Who you get to live it with and how you choose to enjoy it is a gift. Sometimes you end up back where you started, and it isn’t the end of the world (even though it can be painful). Nothing is guaranteed. I’ve known friends who thought they’d be married for the rest of their lives devastatingly find themselves single again. That’s Non-Linear. Life isn’t a checklist of milestones, it’s a messy and ever changing experience. Both good and bad, it just can’t be tamed.
It’s shocking that that’s shocking. Almost nothing in nature is still, the clouds shift, the full trees become bare- and our lives are just as breathtaking and beautiful as the tossing, tumultuous ocean. Today’s song choice is Weezer: I invite you to go blast Pork and Beans wherever you are. The chorus is an easy anthem to learn, and I hope you embrace every wonky bit of human you are when you shout out “I don’t give a hoot about what you think!”
